Do I get a horse, when I rule the world? I never made it past a trot in summer camp, and that was years ago. Also, I wouldn't want a black horse. I like strawberry roans, cause they are pretty and also sound like some kind of English pastry. Would I still be impressive if I trotted into position on a strawberry roan who did not rear dramatically? Maybe this is another one that depends on the shape of things in people's heads. I will wear special fans strapped to my shirt so I can make my cloak billow in a theatrical fashion, and people will assume I must have galloped.
A note about my cape/cloak, for everyone who has seen the montage in The Incredibles: no, I am not stupid. Any cloak I wear will have about the loosest neck fastening ever, so that if anything tugs on it, the cloak will come off. This will make day-to-day wear annoying at times, I realize, but I will not get sucked up by jet engines or revolving doors or extremely powerful bathtub drains (yes, I wear my cloak to the tub. So what?). Think of it, actually, as like a newt's tail. If any enemy grabs me by the cloak, it'll come off in their hands and confuse them while I get away.
Why will it confuse them? I'm glad you asked.
When I rule the world, I will have the bad-assingest cloak that ever there was. Darth Vader himself will ask if he can please come try it on. It'll be wired inside with a fine net of copper mesh, which will both be usable to heat on chilly days when straight-up cotton/acrylic blend is not going to keep me toasty, and will protect me if I ever become a cyborg and people try to fire weird computer signals at me to mess up my circuitry (see "Down and Out in the Magic Kingdom" for more details). It will also be rubber-insulated, so I don't get electrocuted when it rains, but in fact stay snug in my Ultimate Raincoat. There'll be a hood with an awesome cowl, just for style, and there will be special animatronics that I or the minions can control to make the coat writhe in the enemy's hands, causing the aforementioned confusion. Finally, the inside will be marked with all kinds of notes and codes and things that will make it look like I have been wearing my World Domination plans on my back the whole time, when actually they will all be complete gibberish, except maybe I will embroider a list of groceries I tend to need on the inside left flap, so in case I need to stop by the store on my way back from Doing Justice I will not need to bring a Post-It list.
The computer programmer minions are welcome to think of awesome additional features. We can update the cloak whenever! Cloak 3.0! As long as no one sends me annoying pop-ups to update my cloak, because that would just be silly.
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