Still freaking out about the idea of creating a website, I'm afraid. I don't know why it seems like such a mammoth task to me, but the deadline is getting closer, and I haven't done nearly enough work, and I can see empires that haven't even been built crashing down on me. It's a bad day to be Overlord of the World.
One of my friends, a few years ago, was commenting on the fact that I tend to be quite good at just about everything I do on a regular basis.
"The thing is that you only take time to develop things you know you can excel at," she said. "Anything else you just leave behind."
She meant it as a compliment, noting my efficiency and practicality. Why should I waste my time, only to fail? Better to hone in on my natural gifts and explore those as far as I can.
Now, though, it feels like a much more judgmental note on my behavior. I give up on things that aren't working. I have trouble seeing the value of an activity without tangible results. If my website doesn't look professional, my first instinct will be to dismiss it as a waste of time, or as further proof of my understanding of myself as a 23-year-old dinosaur.
If you're going to be a successful world Overlord, everyone knows you can't have a weakness. Spunky kids with a hero complex and too much time on their hands will be all too eager to find it for you. You cannot afford a serious flaw, because the Laws of Narrative Convention want it to be fatal.
So what do you do when you find out you have one?
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