I mentioned before that part of Phase One was securing the staff. An important part of being an Overlord is recognizing the need to delegate. The world is a big place; it's okay to recruit a little help. Also, before I get rolling, I would like to take a moment to clarify the use of the word "minion," in the title here and elsewhere in The Lair. I am not talking about the mindless, expendable drones you may be familiar with in other, failed Overlord's regimes. I'm talkin' 'bout some talented people, some of whom I will be reporting to in trust that they will keep me from falling off the edge of the Cliffs of Insanity.
So why use the word at all? Partly, I like the sound of "minion." It's fun to say, and nice for alliteration. Also, it's traditional. At any rate, if any of the staff should read this, I want you to understand I mean the word "minion" in the most affectionate, respected way possible. And now, to business!
The Minions:
Woman with Needles: I've mentioned her already. One of my two primary advisers, Woman with Needles helps me keep track of strategy and keeps a sharp watch to make sure I'm not too fanciful (keep that in mind later on, and imagine where I'd be without her). Once World Domination is achieved, Woman with Needles will be primary ambassador to the British Isles. She is also a wizard with knitting.
The Empath: My other primary adviser, The Empath takes care of the human element of things. Keep people happy, and far less chance of an uprising five or ten or twenty years into the Regime. The Empath has nearly supernatural empathic people skills; she'll be able to convince people that they want what I want. She also reminds me sometimes to take a load off and enjoy ruling, which is nice. Oh, and in addition, she's covered about as much YA fantasy as I have, which is key to understanding the fatal flaws many Overlords make.
Odysseus: This guy is a computer wizard, an essential for a successful modern Regime. Odysseus is my primary man for designing the programs I need to fulfill my dreams (he's promised me a shrink/growth ray, for one). He also embodies some more traditional wizard skills: he has a vast knowledge of mythology, which is again helpful for understanding Overlord strengths and flaws. I can absolutely depend on him.
The above three are absolutely solid, the others I will need to double-check. They include:
Cliffscaler: Rock climber/computer wizard
Murjanah: She knows about genetics, has great people skills, and is all-around amazing. I wish I could belly-dance like her
Linux: Because you can never have too many people who know their way around the computer network
Manly Man: An actual rocket scientist! I know the best people sometimes
The Historian: She also studied ancient sorcery and counters for curses
Caduceus: A to-be doctor (I'm sure she'll be all set to go once the Regime gets started)
As you can see, quite a few excellent talents, but still room for more minions with lots to offer. The package includes a competitive pay package, full benefits (once I recruit a few more doctors, and some dentists), and a fun work environment. Dress is "please don't be naked," and the work week is modeled after Google. That is, a 40-hour week, with 80% of the time devoted to World Domination projects and 20% of the time free to work on projects of the individual employee's choice (subject to approval by the Overlord). Vacation time depends on how the Plan is going, but I'm inclined to be flexible.
Apply through The Lair with some information about what you can bring to the Regime!
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