Phase Two, Day 7: Distaster Strikes!

We've got a problem, people. I'm sure I don't need to tell you that in the new Empire, Halloween (even Hallowe'en, if you prefer) is a BIG DEAL. Dressing up in outlandish outfits? Walking around outside when everything is crisp and smoky and mysterious? Eating sweets that include the phrase "chocolate-flavored candy coating" because it's that removed from actual chocolate? Check, check and done, right?

Wrong. I have been abandoned--deserted--by my very own sister.

Here's the story. Youngest Sister and I were going to go do Halloween things together. We were going to dress up as the Mythbusters. She would be Adam, because she is spastic all the time anyway and would only be lacking the black shirt and occasional cowboy hat. I would be Jamie, because I have long dreamed of wearing a walrus mustache, and this was a perfect chance. I was also totally happy because Youngest Sister is 14 and still wanted me to trick-or-treat with her. Youngest Sister agreed that since my schedule is super-busy trying to get the kittens bigger, she would pick up the supplies. Yesterday, she came home with a bag from the craft shop, and pulled out stencil letters and silver spray paint. My excitement was building as though someone had just told me they had a timeshare in Madagascar that they wanted to donate to the Empire. So imagine my confusion when she pulled out a solitary black t-shirt.

At first I didn't even recognize the significance. Maybe she already has an old black shirt, I thought. "Is this one mine" I asked her, all hope and innocence.

"Um," she said, "it's for me, actually."

Oh no, I thought. She hasn't realized I need a black t-shirt too. And there doesn't seem to be a mustache here. I need to find a way to gently let her know that I was depending on her for a costume.

"I...don't have a black t-shirt," I said.

Youngest Sister couldn't look me in the face. "I was thinking," she mumbled. "Hannah really wants me to come with her and her friends, and I thought since you have Andrew, maybe you guys could hgmff gnkll rtkjb..."

After a few tries, I realized the truth. Youngest Sister was officially ditching me, without even so much as a costume, two days before Halloween.

Hamlet was not more tragic than this.

So what now, minions and future minions? Will your Fearless Leader cave in and become a lame person who doesn't dress up at all and hands out limp candy bars from the doorway to everyone else who is having fun? No, this cannot be. But right now we are on shaky ground indeed.